The Witcher 3: Video Game Review

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Another amazing game that I had been missing out on, I loved this game to pieces. I actually had never played a Witcher game up until now… so there were some bits here and there were I was pretty lost, or didn’t know how to answer questions so I picked at random. It didn’t effect the game much though, as far as I can tell, maybe that’s just an ignorant statement lol.

The graphics got me right at the start of the game, the cut scenes where there’s a ton of lore and history about the world were absolutely beyond words stunning. Going into the games I had high hopes, but seeing such care being put into the quality right from the start made me feel good immediately about my purchase. Fucking video games are not cheap, I had forgotten how much money I used to spend on these games.


The music for this game was also on point, great music can really enhance game play, tone, and over all feel to a game. Likewise, poor or monotonous music can really agitate me with the same little verse being played over and over again.


Well, there is no character creation in this game, you’re playing through a story of a pre-made character who’s a Witcher. Someone who hunts down demons and other evil shit and kills it. They have a bad rap because they don’t work for free, they’re not exactly heroes because if you don’t have money sometimes they do nothing at all. They are however incredibly powerful with a lot of cool magic choices and gameplay options.


This is a game where you have to repair your equipment, feed your horse and keep yourself supplied on things like food and water. It adds a little bit of a challenge to the game play because I haven’t played a game like that in a long time. There’s lots of menus and item slots so I had to take my time to get to know this game since I jumped in all willy nilly at game 3. It took a few hours for me to get  a handle on the game play and stop dying every time I encountered something even thought I started the game on Normal. There is an option that’s just “story” which I thought was interesting but haven’t tried yet. I’m not sure how much different it would be since so much of this game revolves around combat to finish missions. Once I got the hang of it though, and figured out my sword sucked and wasn’t doing damage because it was beaten up, I had SO much fun with this game omg. The monsters you fight, the environments you find yourself in, the way you can kill shit and dodge around was so much fun. My only real complaint with game play is when you are in the middle of a fight you can’t jump over stuff you normally can. So, if there’s like a bucket, or a fence or something, you get backed into a corner easily rather than being able to jump over it. Small complaint really, it didnt’ cause too many issues but when it did it was frustrating.


Everything here was really well done, nothing felt cringey or over acted, and nothing felt like it was dull and unanimated. The voice actors were great and the writing was fantastic. There’s much more narrative here than games like Skyrim, but a little less so than something like Mass Effect. Instead of this game giving you options to create your own narrative, they have many options to immerse yourself in a great narrative they’ve made for you.


There are a couple characters you can actually romance – but there are even more you can just have sex with. There are tons of prostitutes int his game, and there are many opportunities for some rather graphic sex scenes. I didn’t actually play most of these and just went with a main romance with Yen,  but here’s a compilation of all the sex you can have in this game. Titties!


Yen romance, and sex on a unicorn!



9/10. There was so much I enjoyed about this game, and so little I can find to complain about, it’s one of the best games I’ve played in a long time.

There’s also a decent amount of game play for dollar value. I put about 120 hours into the game, and I could have been doing more, I played through rather quickly and didn’t get to every side mission. I’ve read online where people have put over 200 hours into the game and I believe it.

92% from Metacritic

9.3 from IGN


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