13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher – And why I fucking hate it.

I debated rating and reviewing this book for a bunch of reasons… but oh well. There are a lot of people praising this book, and as someone who’s lost 2 family members to suicide, and been put in in-patient mental facility for my own attempted suicide…. I thought I should read and review this book.

I hated it. The only reason why I didn’t give it a 1 is because over all it was decently written, no grammar/spelling errors and all that. It functioned as a book.

This … glamorizes suicide. If I had read this as a teen when I was feeling suicidal something could have happened, and I read recently in the news that someone who was on the verge watched the show or read the book, and imitated it. He left behind tapes and he was known to love this series.

I felt like Hannahs reasons for committing suicide were not representative of Major Depressive Disorder, but rather a teenager having a very rough time in high school. She had a right to feel the way she did, but those sorts of reasons are rarely the only cause of someone committing suicide. I spent 3-4 weeks in a rehab center after my own attempt, and I spent 24/7 with people like myself who just couldn’t take it anymore. None of us had the reasons she had for ending it, or trying to. Depressing isn’t …. being angry at the people around you. It’s not usually a response to your environment although shitty situations can make it spiral downwards. It’s the feeling that you can’t be happy. Things you used to love have no flavor, no color, no draw. You’re just constantly in this state of unending nothingness. If you’ve ever been “in a funk” where you can’t sleep, you can’t find something to watch, and every activity you try you end up not finishing or not even starting because “you’re not in the mood”. Just amplify that, add in overall sense of sadness, and make it last for years on end, 24/7.

More or less, my reaction to reading this book was “fucking seriously?”.

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To anyone reading this with depression, teenagers in general – guidance counselors are not your enemy. I have no FUCKING idea why this book decided to make one of the best resources you have into a fucking enemy. The fucking fuck. These people chose a profession to help younger people make their way through high school and guide them in how to be adults. Yes, obviously the quality of individual will vary but overall they are there to help you. Most schools have more than one, don’t click with one person? Ask to see another one.

SEEK HELP. This series didn’t have her try therapy, she sought help no where, she tried no medications. I’m just …. UGH.

Sometimes it takes a while. I tried Paxil, Prozac, Gabapentin, Zoloft, and Lexapro before finally getting help with Welbutrin. It turns out we were treating my depression with the wrong class of medications, SSRI’s when I needed to be taking something in the aminoketone class.

Go seek a therapist or counselor. If you can’t afford it if you’re not insured, there are other hotlines and help available for those with low incomes.

We’re on goodreads! There’s so many books that can help you through this. My therapist had me going through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2…

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2…

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2…

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1…

This is the number for the USA 1-800-273-8255 SUICIDE HOTLINE

This is a website with a lot of resources for people considering suicide https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

I have come in and out of the throws of depression all of my life, starting very young around age 9-10. Every time I teeter on the edge, I come back. And thank fucking god for that. Even on my worst days now I’m still thankful I’m here. I want to see my family. I want to see my husband. I want to see the next day even if it hurts.

There hasn’t been a single day of my life where I regretted the fact my attempt failed.

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In short, this book failed to accurately represent suicidal thoughts, a person with Major Depressive Disorder, and managed to glorify it in the process.